PIAF – 22-25 August, 8pm, The Famous Spiegeltent

It’s not often you see something happen during a performance that turns it from being the merely spectacular into the unforgettable, but Tuesday night’s audience at the Spiegeltent in George Street for PIAF witnessed something quite extraordinary.

We had already heard impeccably phrased songs, gorgeously accompanied by piano, interspersed with understated stories about the legend that is Edith Piaf. The expressive and deliciously evocative voice of Christine Bovill was not that of an imitator or a ‘tribute’ singer – this was a startling recreation of the experience of listening to Edith Piaf. Bovill moved us through a delightful repertoire that covered some of Piaf’s most iconic songs, and the heart-tugging tragedy that was the background to so many produced many an emotional lump in the throat amongst the appreciative full house.

The hour was drawing to a close, and we’d heard mention of Piaf’s signature song, ‘No regrets’ and assumed it would probably be the finale. But then an extraordinary thing happened. Bovill, visibly excited and nervous, breathlessly announced that the composer of ‘No regrets’ Charles Dumont, was in the Spiegeltent. It was as if a bolt of lightning had struck, and the audience burst into spontaneous applause. Here, in the same venue that Piaf’s friend Marlene Dietrich had first made famous when she performed in Edinburgh, Dumont, a smiling, dapper and modest figure, made his way to the piano. And he sang to us. He sang ‘Je Ne Regrette Rien’ in a proud and sonorous tone, his fingers on the piano effortlessly recreating the song he’d written for Piaf 56 years ago. The applause that followed was thunderous, and the entire audience was on its feet, shouting, whistling, stamping its feet, smiling, and wiping tears from their eyes. Grown men wept, including the 83-year-old Dumont, visibly moved by the occasion and the ecstatic reaction of the Edinburgh crowd. “This is too much” he protested, grinning from ear to ear.

And then Dumont asked if Bovill would perform ‘No regrets’, and he retired to the background of the stage to listen. As her velvet voice sent shivers through the audience, he moved slowly closer towards her presence, grasping the shoulders of Bovill’s accompanying pianist and double bassist, tears welling in his eyes, with a beatific smile across his face. It was more than a moment of musical history – it was as if Piaf had been alive again for a few moments with us as she performed the song that was the first of over 30 written by Dumont for Piaf. This was the most extraordinary, unexpected, touching and emotional musical performance I have ever seen, and I, like every other person in that beautiful tent will hold the memory of it inside me forever.

As this goes to press, this show only runs for four more nights in Edinburgh. If you love music, and you want to experience something extraordinary, then run, fly, race to book your ticket immediately. To even be hearing echoes of this evening from the street outside would be a huge pleasure, but being in that beautiful, mirrored, circular space, hearing that voice, is a delirious experience you’ll carry within you for a very, very long time. Bovill’s stage presence and voice are exquisite, and the simplicity of the accompaniment and staging adds to the dramatic effect. This is indeed five star entertainment.

Google Plus for Business

Google Plus (yet another social network) has recently expanded to allow businesses to add their own ‘pages’. So far, so much like Facebook. The results from adding content to such pages are now starting to appear in Google’s search results. This makes it sensible to pay attention to the issue for maintaining or extending your visibility online, but nothing too revolutionary.

However, what should make you sit up and pay attention is this: By associating your Google Plus Page with your web site in a specified way, typing the ‘+’ character before your business name in a Google Search will do 2 quite extraordinary things: –

1. You go straight to that the Google Plus Page of that business.
2. You immediately are given the option of adding that page to your Google Plus circles.

Try it: type ‘+youtube’ into a Google Search, and you go straight to YouTube’s Google Plus page. [Open new browser window]

This is called Google+ Direct Connect. Right now, this only works for major names and brands. However, the mechanism is in place for every company to notify Google Searches to do the same thing.

So in essence, you’ve now got a simple, rapid and almost automatic way to make a connection between yourself and a company, or a brand. Or to make a connection between yourself and your suppliers, customers, stakeholders, friends, supporters… and you can share information with them readily.

An on-going relationship has been established through one Google Search.

Just think about that.

An on-going relationship has been established through one Google Search.

Add EnergySys to your circles today! http://gplus.to/energysys

Not on Google Plus? Create an account today – you also get free Gmail and Google Apps.

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KLM know how to use Twitter for customer service

If you’ve ever flown to another country where you don’t speak the language, and indeed, one where you can’t even read the language, you’ll know that it can be difficult. Daunting, even. You’ll appreciate any help you can get.

So this Saturday, when I was looking to book flights for my Mother-in-law from Russia, knowing she speaks no English, and can’t read English characters, I wanted to see if anyone could help her make her flight transfers. We normally give her a ‘please help this passenger’ sheet in English, but I wondered if any extra help was available as she does get a bit stressed out by the whole process.

In the sky with Diamonds

I turned to the web, and quickly worked out that it would be the ground airport, rather than the airline, who’d be responsible for any passenger in transit. I understood from BAA’s Heathrow web site that there was a meet and assist service called Diamond Air, and there was a telephone number to call. Diamond were happy to explain that they could help, and would email me a booking form. Then they mentioned the service would cost just £140, with no Russian speaker involved, just a person holding up a name board. Thanks, but no, thanks. However, further down the same BAA page, there was mention of an organisation called Omniserv who would provide the transfer service – and all of their services were provided free of charge. Should have contacted them first! Their contact details consisted of just an email address. So I emailed them, asking for details, because the page did not make it clear if there are eligibility rules, or language resources, or of their service was only available for disabled passengers.

Twitter gets an answer

Simply sending an email’s never conclusive, especially with unanswered questions. I remembered hearing that KLM had set up a service where customer help agents would monitor Twitter for mentions of @KLM and attempt to assist their passengers with any problems. So I tried it. I sent a tweet to @KLM. Within 20 minutes, I had a response. KLM had checked my twitter account, so they addressed me using my first name. Nice. They said they would make every effort to help if I sent them the passenger’s e-ticket number by Direct Message – easy to do as they’d by now followed me on Twitter. I clarified that I had not actually made a booking yet, around ten minutes after their message was sent. I had a further response from them within about five minutes. They told me they had no Russian language support in AMS or CDG airports, but that they could arrange for help with a wheelchair if it were needed. I thanked them for their help, and said I’d be in touch once I’d decided on a route and schedule.

The last I heard from KLM was this: “You are welcome, David. We wish you a nice weekend and don’t hesitate to contact us if you require further assistance.”

An empty inbox is not as good as a smiley face

It’s now Monday afternoon, after 5pm. I still haven’t had a reply to my email to Omniserv. I’m sure they’re great people and probably offer a wonderful service, but I can’t tell that from looking at an empty inbox. In fact, I may infer that perhaps they don’t much care about me. But I do remember who does care about me…

So, can you guess who my Mother-in-Law will be flying with, and which airport she’ll pass through? Yes, KLM will be seeing her in Amsterdam on the way here, and on the way back. Because they responded, personally, in a timely manner, in a helpful way, they won my business. Why would I trust her care to people who can’t even respond to my questions?

It’s not just a question of a business having a twitter account, or about monitoring it outside of ‘office hours’, or answering email promptly. This is a question of how social media has changed the way any business must think about real service and how their business competes. Nobody else was actually able to compete with KLM here – they put themselves in the lead by committing to customer service through Twitter, and delivering on it. As a result of this initiative, their customers have become their advocates – which is how I knew about that service in the first place. And of course, me telling you this story probably does no harm.

Social media in business is not rocket science – it’s clearly always better to deal with people who treat you well. Bedankt, KLM!

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In February, President Dmitry Medvedev decided the country would remain permanently in summertime after March 2011, “in order to relieve the stress of changing clocks”. As most of Northern Europe set its clocks back overnight this weekend, Russians did nothing. At the time of making the announcement in Russia, there was talk of the suicide rate rising.

There has been a recent debate on daylight saving time (DST) in the UK, with Rebecca Harris MP lobbying for ‘Lighter Later’ which would place the UK on Central European time. The effects of this are more problematic the further north one is from Central Europe – as I am, living in Scotland.

Why bother anyway?

The basic idea of DST is to align the working day with the maximum daylight hours. By advancing clocks during the summertime, afternoons have more daylight and mornings have less. However, there are basic facts that no amount of tinkering can alter: – the time of sunrise and sunset in Aberdeen is always going to be different from that in London, because it is further north, and in both cities these events will always occur later than in Berlin, because it lies further east.

As the Spectator dramatically pointed out, “Mr Salmond (First Minister in Scotland) would be able to make much of a London elite prepared to see children die on dark and frozen roads in the Highlands so that effete Englishmen could enjoy late barbecues in the sunshine in the Home Counties.”

A look at a map of the world today shows very different approaches to DST in different countries, and even within countries such as Canada, Australia and Brazil. Most countries don’t use DST – and most that do are in the northern hemisphere. Blue denotes where DST is observed, Orange where it is no longer observed, and Red where it has never been observed.

DST across the World: Blue DST observed, Orange DST no longer observed, Red DST never observed.

Whose bright idea was this in the first place?

The whole issue got me thinking: whose bright idea was DST anyway? A little research and I have reams of facts at my fingertips – but the most startling is this: On the 30th of April 1916, Germany and its World War I allies were the first to use DST as a way to conserve coal during wartime. Britain, most of its allies, and many European neutrals soon followed suit. Russia and a few other countries waited until the next year, and the United States adopted it in 1918. Modern DST was first proposed in 1895 by the New Zealand entomologist George Vernon Hudson, whose shift-work job gave him leisure time to collect insects, and led him to value after-hours daylight. Britain also used double DST during World War II, apparently to ensure there was more daylight time to get the harvest in during the summer.

There was also a very unpopular experiment in the UK and Ireland between 1968 and 1971 with year-round DST. In October, clocks did not move back an hour – they remained an hour ahead, as has just happened in Russia. This was particularly unpopular in more northern areas, and also resulted in an increase in traffic deaths (not casualties as a whole, but deaths) which may have had something to do with the problems of children going to school on busy, poorly lit roads. The Portuguese tried leaving their clocks forward an hour in summer in 1992, placing them 2 hours off GMT, but gave up the experiment after four years. Apparently sleepless children were evicted from their beds by starlight in winter, and could not settle down to sleep until nearly midnight in summer. So they failed at school, while consumption of anti-depressants and sleeping pills among their parents increased noticeably.

Check your watch on the Ohio bus…

There are also anomalies within a single country – for example, Australia’s Lord Howe Island uses a half-hour shift, rather than an hour. Start and end dates do not always coincide; for example, in 2008 most DST-observing areas shifted clocks forward on October 5, but Western Australia shifted on October 26. Most of the United States and Canada observe DST from the second Sunday in March to the first Sunday in November, almost two-thirds of the year. However, Hawaii and most of Arizona do not observe DST. Up until 1966, US Federal law did not address DST, meaning states and localities were free to do as they pleased with DST. This lack of standardisation meant that, in one extreme example, bus drivers operating on West Virginia Route 2 between Moundsville, West Virginia, and Steubenville, Ohio had to reset their watches seven times over 35 miles.

It can all get thoroughly confusing, especially if you cross a dateline heading east. You might leave Siberia on Monday morning and arrive in Alaska the previous Sunday afternoon. Whenever I travel, I always am sure to check first with http://www.timeanddate.com/

Beginning and ending dates are the reverse in the southern hemisphere. For example, mainland Chile observes DST from the second Saturday in October to the second Saturday in March. The time difference with the UK may therefore be five hours during the Northern summer, three hours during the Northern winter and four hours for a few weeks each year because of a mismatch of changing dates.

The old fashioned way to do DST…

However, what I found the most fascinating was to discover how ancient civilisation dealt with this issue: temporal hours. They just made the length of an hour flexible. How long an hour lasted depended on what the date was. Flexi time! Babylonian water clocks, which measured time by weight of water, would have around one-sixth of a pound of water added every two weeks after the summer solstice.

Roman water clocks had different scales for different months of the year: at Rome’s latitude the third hour from sunrise, hora tertia, started by modern standards at 09:02 solar time and lasted 44 minutes at the winter solstice, but at the summer solstice it started at 06:58 and lasted 75 minutes. Unequal hours are still used today in a few traditional settings, such as in some Mount Athos monasteries and in Jewish ceremonies.

I still am left wondering if some Edinburgh bus timetables use temporal hours…

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]]> http://www.also.cc/2011/11/01/can-romans-help-russians-in-the-dark/feed/ 0 http://www.also.cc/2011/10/28/finding-the-time-to-get-lost-in-venice/ http://www.also.cc/2011/10/28/finding-the-time-to-get-lost-in-venice/#comments Fri, 28 Oct 2011 11:00:05 +0000 David Petherick http://www.also.cc/?p=115 I recently had the pleasure of being in Italy for a week with my family, visiting Bologna, Ferrara, Verona, Padua and Venice. We had a great time. [7 Days]

Last night, the family decided to watch a film that included Venice in its storyline – Only You. Made in 1994, and starring Marisa Tomei and Robert Downey Jr., this is a beautiful film about destiny and finding your soul-mate. [140 Mins]

But I was struck, as I watched Tomei’s character Faith sending a telegram home from Italy, about how much has changed in the way we travel in the 17 years since this film was made, and the (literally) far-reaching effects of internet technology.

Lost in Venice...

Goodbye to the Telegram

OK, there are probably people reading this who have never seen or sent a telegram, other than perhaps when sent to a wedding. But even in 1994, fax machines were only just starting to appear in home offices, and internet access was still a relative novelty. There were only around 10,000 web sites, and most access was through dialup modem. IDC statistics estimate only 16 million people, or 0.4% of the world’s population, were using the internet in 1995. Today, the figures are closer to 30% of the world’s population, with almost 80% penetration in North America.

The good old guidebook

We came across a 1997 vintage guide to Italy in a charity shop before we left on our trip. It originally retailed at £20. Of course, some things in that book were timelessly unchanged, such as the interior of San Marco’s Basilica in Venice, or the Roman Amphitheatre in the heart of Verona. However, the choice of restaurants was very limited, and none of the hotels listed had a web site or email address. To book a hotel, you would phone one of those listed, hope your Italian was up to scratch, or their English good, and perhaps give them your credit card details, with any confirmation, if it came, being by fax. [20 Mins] If the hotel had a fax, of course. And think of booking your flight – you’d head off to a flight shop or travel agent, explain where you want to go and when, and they’d post you out tickets a week or so later. [90 mins] You might have been given a choice of one or two airlines for your route.

How do you hire a FIAT to Rome?

In the film, Faith and her girlfriend have to hire a car as there is a National strike taking place in Italy, and she needs to get to Rome from Venice. She’d have asked her hotel where the nearest car rental office is, and gone there to arrange the hire. [50 Mins] Of course, given the idiosyncrasy of Italian road signing, she gets lost, and runs out of petrol on the way. [120 mins]. Luckily, some passing Nuns (it’s a film) help her out with a fuel top-up, and she finds her way to Rome. On arrival, she drops off her car at the rental agency, and grabs a taxi to take her to the Roman hotel address she’s been given. As it turns out, the taxi ride is very short, as her destination turns out to be just the other side of the same piazza. [20 Secs]

So, Faith is still looking for her elusive soul-mate, but needs somewhere to stay. A local businessman recommends a little Pensione a few streets away, and accompanies them there, where, of course, being the movies, a room is free and the place is wonderful. [5 Mins] Her trips around Rome are initially by Taxi, and then she needs to buy a guidebook in order to locate all the hotels nearby where her elusive soul-mate might be staying… you’ll need to see the movie to find out what happens next.

Fast forward to October 2011

Being a canny Scot, I start with Skyscanner to find the cheapest flight to ‘Everywhere’ around the school half-term dates. Italy is near the top of the list, with direct flights to Bologna. After discussion with the family, I pay extra for 1 piece of hold luggage, and book online. [15 Mins]. I check in online with all passport details transmitted, for both outward and return flights, and print my boarding passes. [5 Mins] I decide to stay two nights in Bologna, before we join friends in Verona, so head to Tripadvisor.com and book the second-most-recommended hotel in Bologna. The best rate I find is through hotels.com who also have an iPhone app, for which I recall from their newsletter gives a 15% discount if you use a promo code in their mobile app. I use the same app to book Verona – this time in the same hotel as friends we’re meeting. [10 Mins] For both, I can print or store the PDFs for confirmation, which have maps to guide me there. I’ll need to hire a car after staying in Bologna, so I search via an online broker for the cheapest deal, and it turns out to be from Avis. Google Maps show me it’s easy to get to their downtown rental office from my hotel, so I book it, and choose a one-way hire, to drop the car at the airport on the way back. [10 Mins] After a serious amount of time investigating hotels available in Venice (notoriously small and expensive), we make our choice after reading reviews at Tripadvisor.com on their iPhone app, and book again through hotels.com. [10 Mins] I add my bookings and flights to Tripit by forwarding a few emails, so that I have my details in my iPhone as a backup to paper copies. [2 mins]

Driven to distraction

Of course, if you have ever driven in Italy, you’ll know that road signs can be a problem, with the signing concept of ‘primary destination’ being slightly alien. Seeing ten-plus destinations at one junction is also not all that rare, but direction confirmation signs are, meaning it’s easy to get on the wrong road without knowing it until it’s far too late. Such was my fate in Verona. [40 mins] I couldn’t find the SR11 out of town from the centre. So I admitted defeat, switched on data roaming on my iPhone, and asked my Maps app to take me from my current location to the hotel address. My wife read out the turn-by-turn moves as I drove. [11 Mins]

We hadn’t booked anything for a night in Padua, but on arrival, while my wife and child checked out a hotel that looked good, I checked their prices and reviews on my iPhone as I waited in the car. [5 Mins] My wife negotiated a better deal because I texted her the online cost, and she got also got parking thrown in.

I knew where to park in Venice thanks to a little prior research courtesy of Google, and I knew also to get the Number 2 waterbus into town for the cheap and very scenic route. The subsequent walk to our hotel was as per the Google Maps instruction – but we did have to ask a Gondolier for help at the last turn – we laughed when we saw that the hotel sign was right above our heads. The hotel was amazing, as per the reviews – and they were able to upgrade us free to a canal view as I’d requested in a comment when I booked.

We avoided some of the worst tourist traps, and discovered some off-the-track gems with a little free Guidepal app of Venice, which even had an Augmented Reality ‘point and find out what’s interesting nearby’. No data roaming needed, as the hotel had free wifi – as did every one we stayed in.

But the serendipity of travel is not all gone. Our last night was spent at a little hotel in Ferrara which was recommended to us by the girl who served us our lunch – it was just around the corner, and it provided the best breakfast of our holiday. [40 mins] Turns out it’s ranked #2 out of 43 in the city at Tripadvisor…

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]]> http://www.also.cc/2011/10/28/finding-the-time-to-get-lost-in-venice/feed/ 0 http://www.also.cc/2010/08/13/live-in-the-library-moiras-monologues-fae-falkirk-awe-audience/ http://www.also.cc/2010/08/13/live-in-the-library-moiras-monologues-fae-falkirk-awe-audience/#comments Fri, 13 Aug 2010 10:59:04 +0000 David Petherick http://www.also.cc/?p=13 Originally published: 13 August 2010 at EdinburghFestival.org

“Ah want your dug to come and apologise tae mah dug.”
“Apologise? Tae your dug? How exactly am ah gonnae manage that?”
“No mah problem. You trained it. And no very well, ah might add…”

The opening of The Moira Monologues takes us into deepest, darkest Falkirk, where Moira, the lippy chain-smoking cleaner, is berating her neighbour for the bad attitude his Rottweiller has been displaying towards her beloved Pepe, and demanding a canine apology in person. And, this being Moira, she of course gets that apology…

Alan Bissett is better known as an author [ Boyracers (2001), The Incredible Adam Spark (2005), Death of a Ladies' Man (July 2009). alanbissett.com ], but with this performance, he must also be acknowledged as a very fine character actor. Playing the lead female character entirely straight, Bissett also seamlessly inhabits other unforgettable characters – a huge male bouncer, Diesel the Rottweiler, Pepe the Yorkshire terrier, and Charlie the smooth-talking teacher all appear crisply and physically in front of the audience. It’s an unforgettable performance of jaw-dropping quality that rightfully gained huge applause, foot stomping, and massive whoops and cheers from a full house on its first night.

Understanding Scots dialect (Falkirk homo vulgaris Hallglenis) is probably an advantage when coming to this performance, especially with the visceral volley of foul expletives that first launches us into Moira’s world, but on enquiry, a native Russian audience member who spends most of her time in Russia, happily reported that the language gap did not inhibit her enjoyment. The xenophobic and bigoted elements of Moira’s psyche were most definitely not lost in translation, as the hilarious riff on exceptions to enjoying membership of Jock Tamson’s Bairns’ Club showed, with such groups as The Catholics, The Huns, Muslims, Paedophiles, Big Brother contestants, and of course The Edinbourgousie all being summarily excluded. The irony of a broadly middle-class Edinburgh audience getting its rocks off as it is itself being so roundly derided and abused by the characters before it on stage is part of the delicious class-conscious cubism that Bissett paints in this piece, and in his novels.

The episodic settings are wonderfully paced in this hour, and although laced with huge humour and devastating one-liners, more serious themes emerge, in particular with Moira incisively questioning the middle-class obsession with being or becoming someone or something. The couch setting for the drunken football-inspired monologues is just perfect, the body language surrounding the seduction (more like an entrapment) of Charlie, the physical reality of a Rottweiller growling and slavering in front of you, the flick of imaginary cigarette ash as Moira leans on her mop, and the whining hand-wringing of a put-upon neighbour illuminate and underline already memorable, authentically paced, witty and plain bloody hilarious dialogue.

The Moira Monologues also benefit from being presented in an intimate and humane venue, in a small room inside the National Library of Scotland – somewhere you feel refreshingly unlike being just another member of a herd of cattle rounded up and packed into a soulless and stuffy darkened room.

See this. It’s astounding, insightful, very Scottish, a wee bit sad and elegiac, but mainly very, very funny, and reveals Bissett as a quite extraordinary stage presence.

David Petherick ||| @clarocada

Originally published: 7 August 2010 at EdinburghFestival.org

Tommy Lee and Sylvester Stallone live in Edinburgh. Sort of. Celebrity Autobiography.

Suddenly, there is the sound of ‘giggling’ between Taylor (Tiffany Stephenson) and Burton (James Lance) and with the subtle exchanges of glances, wry facial expressions and tiny elements of body language, all at once, you have Taylor and Burton live on stage. They’re just there.

It’s a clue to why this show has enjoyed so much success, running for three years in New York, winning a Drama Desk award last year, and having featured the likes of Matthew Broderick within its line-up. A London West End run is probably inevitable later in the year – this will be a huge hit in Edinburgh.

The structure of ‘Celebrity Autobiography’ is frighteningly simple: an ensemble of actors perform from the verbatim autobiographic memoirs of a wide range of celebrities. And inevitably, with a little judicious selection and editing, many of these celebrities are hoist by their own petard, displaying their aching self-importance, pretentiousness, vacuousness, stupidity, vanity, downright weirdness and simple stupidity…

• Sylvester Stallone asks if we have talked to our muscles lately. I mean really talked.
• Mr T of A-Team fame stuns us by learning 7 pages of dialogue in just three days. And then ad-libbed!
• Tommy Lee reveals his tips for the best oral sex performance when you ‘go south on a lady’. Get some air in there.
• David Cassidy fails to have sex with his TV sister because she’s not slutty enough. But what the hell, he woke up with an erection anyway.
• Diana Ross fails to stop the rain and has a wet dream without even being consulted. And explains how she almost had to leave Central Park on foot!
• Tiger Woods shows us his ‘putting’ technique step-by-step, loose left hand and rigid thumbs included. And to think, until the age of 20, like most young guys, he though every ‘putt’ was a good one.

Celebrity AUtobiography is a show that makes you laugh. And laugh a lot. And the performances are far more than ‘readings’. The staging is sparse and simple, but this allows you to focus on the dialogue, and, whether it’s one actor, a pair, or a group interacting on stage, you can really savour the pauses, sidelong glances, smiles, occasional looks of horror and the delicious, almost unbelievable awfulness of the material being aired. You really can’t make this stuff up – it’s priceless.

I’d go to see this again, in an instant. I suspect this will sell out fast, so I recommend you get your seats booked, bring a friend, remember to grab a drink to enjoy during the show, and perhaps you’ll want to add a few autobiographies to your reading list afterwards.

David Petherick ||| @clarocada

We have a confession. The Short Change Venture Capital’s MicroFundr™ Fund, which we announced yesterday, was an April Fool. It was a fake, it was a hoax, it was some scam, it was our joke. We got you. Well, we got most of you – there were a few doubts.

Anatomy of a hoax…

Boris Veldhuijzen van Zanten of The Next Web and Ville Vesterinen of ArcticStartup cooked up the central concept on the afternoon of 31st March, and mailed the outline to fellow conspirators. David Petherick worked on a fictional press release (reproduced below), from which Ville Vesterinen and Zee Kane worked to create separate blog entries. Meanwhile, David created the graphics and account for @microfundr on Twitter, and took a screenshot of the first instructional Twitter message to be used in the blogs from the Next Web and Acrtic Startup. TechCrunch UK & France couldn’t join in the fun, as they were busy on the road in Silicon Valley, but the story still had enough legs, and Ville and Zee published within a few minutes of each other in the early afternoon of April 1st.

• Arctic Startup Blog 1st April: MicroFundr, First Pan-European VC Fund, Will Use Twitter For Funding Process
• The Next Web Blog 1st April: Announcement: MicroFundr, an innovative new Pan-European VC Fund is born.

The story spreads…

Within a few minutes, retweeting of the stories started, and the @microfundr twitter account had gained over 100 followers by early evening, and currently stands at 119 followers. At least one person tweeted that “here was a story that was NOT an April Fool”. Oops. We were starting to believe it ourselves as we saw the story rippling out across the twitterverse and blogosphere.

We don’t wish to be cruel and name anyone who retweeted, or went as far as to send a URL with the hashtag #twit14 (TWIT 1st of the 4th), but a search on twitter for “microfundr” or “#twit14” is rather revealing. I’m afraid that, like Google, Twitter seems never to forget.

Letting you down gently

All followers of the twitter account will now be followed (according to our story, the sign that they are receiving a green light to pitch via 13 tweets for MicroFundr™ funding) and will see the following tweet “We are sorry to announce that @microfundr is an April Fool joke. Gotcha!” with a link to this blog. We will keep the account running for a while, as it seems a shame to bury what’s starting to look less like a joke and more like a good idea.

Quotes from the Perpetrators..

Ville Vesterinen:
“The VC industry could do with some innovative new models. Even if having a smaller fund means smaller management fees. We apologize to those startups for raising false hopes, but at the same time hope that Angels and early stage funds will take note and look at Twitter not only as a bygone investment opportunity, but also a useful tool for their trade. ”

Zee Kane
“Mr Kane is unavailable for comment.”

David Petherick:
“Boris’ initial email quoted Albert Einstein “Anyone who doesn’t take truth seriously in small matters cannot be trusted in large ones either.” So after that, the release almost wrote itself, and I came up with the term microfundr in a flash, checked it was available on twitter, along with the hashtag #twit14 being unused, and within about 20 minutes, it was all in place. A quick twiddle in Fireworks gave me an avatar and icon (I even have an animated gif file) and the release was a solid base of ‘factual foundation’ for Ville and Zee to spin out from.

I think Boris’ interview with Andrew Keen from the ‘launch dinner’ conducted that same evening in Amsterdam was the real cherry on top, and Ville in Helsinki and Zee in London did a great job interpreting the release, and keeping their tone ‘straight’.

I just wish the fund was real. We could certainly start a €14 Euro fund (fourteen) – that might show up some great startups!”

Boris Veldhuijzen van Zanten:
“The huge amount of feedback to our ‘joke’ was so positive and encouraging that halfway through the day we started regretting that our project wasn’t real. Maybe we should seriously consider looking into making MicroFundr a reality. They say reality is stranger than fiction, but maybe we can turn fiction into reality one day.

Isaac Asimov famously said “The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not ‘Eureka!’ (I’ve found it!), but ‘That’s funny…’. MicroFundr™ certainly was ‘Funny’ but for many people it seemed to feel more like an ‘Eureka!’.”

Andrew Keen:
“I’m very small myself…”

Andrew Keen @ Small Fund Launch

Small Change’s Microfundr Press Release in Full

EMBARGO: 08:00 UTC April 01, 2009

Small Change Venture Capital: First pan-european VC fund MicroFundr™, aimed at small, mini & micro businesses, will use Twitter for funding process

AMSTERDAM, HELSINKI, LONDON & PARIS, April 01, 2009: Small Change Venture Capital are launching with MicroFundr™ which will invest up to €14,000 Euros (USD $18,500) in Micro blogging start-ups. The Invest Fund raised just under €14 million (USD $18m) from an anonymous group of small banks and informal investors. A joint group of European blogs, including The Next Web (http://thenextweb.com), ArcticStartup (http://www.arcticstartup.com), TechCrunch UK & Ireland (http://uk.techcrunch.com) and TechCrunch France (http://fr.techcrunch.com) today announced the launch of the MicroFundr™ investment fund aimed at European small, mini and micro start-ups.

“With the current economic climate, the rise of micro blogging services and a global focus on details, the time is right for a small money fund. The blogs involved will invest money, advertising space and attention in the form of blog posts for start-ups with no more than 2 employees, and modest goals.” said Dick Vogels, VP for Small Change Venture Capital, based in Amsterdam, Netherlands.

“To be eligible, start-ups are required to have a turnover of no more than €140,000 Euros per year (USD $185,000), and should aim at an exit worth no more than €14 million (USD $18.5m). Business plans can be submitted via Twitter in no more than 14 tweets using the tag #twit14, with their first tweet to simply include a link to the startup company’s web site.

“If the twitter account @microfundr starts following the startup on twitter, a further 13 tweets will be accepted from that startup, as part of the application process. The shortlist of those to follow will be judged every 14 days by a panel of the partner Blog owners and Small Change executives, and we expect to have our first funding in place for 14 startups, totaling up to €196,000 (USD $259,000), within 28 days. Our backers all agree that ‘Small teams, modest dreams, high volume but low cost services and minimal turn-over are the keywords of the future.’

“These small startups are the key to growth in this economy, and the unique nature of this fund, along with the unique, rapid, web-enabled method of accessing funds, means it has an immediacy and straight-to-the-point focus that engenders a new breed of entrepreneur and a new type of micro-company. Our investors are confident that they will reap rapid rewards from the unique nature, speed of access to funding, and the clarity of equity participation that MicroFundr™ will employ.”

Further details will be announced on Partner Blogs, and there will be a series of tweets every 14 days from the @microfundr twitter account, with the first announcement of shortlisted startups due to be confirmed on 14th April 2009.

Contacts:
Avril Duncan-Price or Boris Veldhuijzen van Zanten
Email: avril.dp.microfundr@gmail.com or boris@thenextweb.com
Twitter: http://twitter.com/microfundr or http://twitter.com/boris
Tel: +31 6 4200 4200

– Ends

Apologies to those who were duped. We really almost wished it were real too. Watch out for us next year…

No, this is not scientific – it’s just my opinion as a Next Web Editor. Following on from my popular Top Tweets of 2008 blog, and 50 Top Tweets of January 2009, these are the best Tweets from Twitter that I saw in February 2009 – and there are 80, as 50 just wasn’t sufficient room for them.

February was another month of growth in Twitter usage and mainstream reporting – Twitter hit the headlines again with yet another aircraft down – this time at Schiphol airport, near Amsterdam, and Stephen Fry got stuck in a lift and tweeted his way out. Here are the best Tweets that I found last month. Enjoy!

1. smartasshat I like my porn stars like I like my White House. No Bush.2:52 PM Feb 1st from Hahlo
2. smartasshat I like my White House like I like my lesbo porn. No Bush. No Dick.5:21 PM Feb 1st from twitterrific
3. nickclayton Turned on British telly. Apparently world is coming to an end. No. It’s snowing in London. Proof third runway needed to boost global warming8:41 AM Feb 2nd from Splitweet
4. trelvix Fair Trade Monday: You don’t offer your seat to the old woman on the train; I don’t tell you about the bird shit on your overcoat. Deal?1:06 PM Feb 2nd from web
5. hoosiergirl When you fall ass over elbow on the ice at 28, what hurts most is your pride. When you fall at 38, what hurts most is your ass & your elbow.3:36 PM Feb 2nd from web
6. andrewburnett @realfreshtv A degree in social media?? Pffft. What next dissertations of 140 characters?4:08 PM Feb 2nd from TweetDeck
7. RalphBassfeld When you call in sick, don’t tweet that you’re eating in a restaurant and going for a walk. Person fired by @podpimp for this.7:24 PM Feb 2nd from web
8. homerdash I woke up and didn’t see my shadow, so I went back to sleep for 6 more hours. Pretty sure that’s doing it right.7:42 PM Feb 2nd from txt
9. practicalwitch Never look away from the water dispenser while refilling. Not even if the cute delivery guy walks in. Um, especially not just then.7:55 PM Feb 2nd from web
10. DieLaughing If I haven’t been reliving this day over and over, then how do I know that no one will find this obvious Groundhog Day film reference funny?9:33 PM Feb 2nd from Power Twitter
11. Sweetnote RT:@victorjkennedy A plate of expensive food is just a poo waiting to happen.3:42 PM Feb 3rd from web
12. stephenfry Ok. This is now mad. I am stuck in a lift on the 26th floor of Centre Point. Hell’s teeth. We could be here for hours. Arse, poo and widdle10:47 PM Feb 3rd from Tweetie
13. weblivz if Strathclyde Police ever create an online Web 2.0 crime website should it be called http://tagrt.com ?10:17 AM Feb 4th from web
14. dotSno@Scobleizer Serendipity: when the farm-hand is looking for a needle in a haystack but instead finds the farmer’s daughter 1:33 PM Feb 4th from web
15. skashliwal “There is only one difference between DREAM & AIM. DREAM requires soundless sleep to see… Whereas Aim requires sleepless effort to acheive11:29 AM Feb 5th from Vakow!
16. craigmcgill RT pls: has no-one realised Latitude lets you set up list of people you don’t like, see location – and avoid them. Antisocial media is here!12:10 PM Feb 5th from web
17. lordlikely is awake after a night of drunken debauchery. Both my heads are throbbing.12:18 PM Feb 5th from web
18. leeodden Retweeting @unmarketing: Remember, The Five Steps of Twitter Success: Follow, Reply, Retweet, Share, Repeat3:34 PM Feb 5th from twhirl
19. davelaw00 *shudder* thought I wouldn’t have to hear Blair making a speech again. Next to Obama, he’s cringe worthy http://tinyurl.com/cweqjd5:33 PM Feb 5th from TwitterFox
20. LenKendall Converstations, unlike banner ads, don’t get taken down on a certain date. (Take heed my media planner friends). 5:37 PM Feb 5th from twhirl
    
21. alisongow Thanks for those mixed messages. I will attempt to read your mind and get back with an answer. I am also booked on a learn-by-osmosis course 6:13 PM Feb 5th from Power Twitter
22. skydiver Dear person who just pushed past me to get on the plane: all parts of the plane land at the same time. Don’t make me kill you. Love, Peter 7:10 PM Feb 5th from TwitterBerry
23. VMDoug People are tweeting at “The World of Concrete Expo”, clearly things have gone too far: http://tinyurl.com/d39b97 10:31 PM Feb 5th from OutTwit
24. cartoono RT @sharonhayes: tell me a good joke – please? I had to pay a fine on an overdue library book – about Speed Reading. Absolutely true! 8:06 AM Feb 6th from TweetDeck
25. steverubel “7 Great Things You Can Do With Gmail Multiple Inboxes” http://ff.im/-Xnjx11:47 AM Feb 8th from FriendFeed
26. gapingvoid “Can’t art be a social object?” Oh, for fuck’s sake…10:05 AM Feb 9th from TwitterBerry
27. vd “Bandwidth, the petrol of the new global economy”11:04 AM Feb 9th from NatsuLion
28. globalcitizen The teller at the bank just used the word “necceseriously”. I’m going to write that down in the same list as “supposebly”. 2:52 PM Feb 10th from TwitterFon
29. mikebutcher Really looking forward to watching “celebrities” reveal how dull they really are on Twitter. In Twitter Veritas! 11:17 PM Feb 10th from Tweetie
30. swoodruff Standard disclaimer: The views expressed in my tweets don’t necessarily reflect the views or opinions of anyone else, including me at times 4:16 PM Feb 11th from TweetDeck
31. gapingvoid Off to buy a new handgun… #screwyouwerefromtexas 9:54 PM Feb 11th from web
32. cartoono When viewed from a train, other people’s lives seem so right and perfect. 1:01 PM Feb 12th from txt
33. UK_BusinessLabs Did you know that the left side of the brain controls speech? Well it would say that wouldn’t it? 3:27 PM Feb 12th from web
34. mikecoulter Off to see the EdTwestival human collateral damage at Edinburgh Coffee Morn in Centotre. 8:15 AM Feb 13th from Tweetie
35. twishes [-O] I wish this damn car alarm would either stay on or STFU, but NOT BOTH IN 2MIN INTERVALS…..*sigh*……. http://tinyurl.com/cf3vfx8:32 AM Feb 13th from twitterfeed
36. AllisterF I do worry. This town doesn’t have enough bandwidth for the all of us. 11:56 AM Feb 13th from web
37. PeoplemapsJulie The thing I loved most about @EdTwestival: Connections + Connections = Social… Proper social networking – not biz #EdTwestival 12:03 PM Feb 13th from web
38. Dutchcowboy screw cancer, lets launch a startup 9:23 AM Feb 15th from Twitstat Mobile
39. ViruSoul_ One Out of Four People in this Word is Mentally Unbalanced. Think of your 3 Closest Friends, if They Seems OK, Then UR the 1. 12:10 AM Feb 16th from Nambu
40. borisTwitter tagline: “It is with words as with sunbeams, the more they are condensed, the deeper they burn” 2:09 PM Feb 16th from web
41. chrisbrogan The good news is that I’m busy as hell. The bad news is, I’m still not saying no effectively and often enough. Deadlines missed everywhere. 2:37 PM Feb 18th from Tweetie
42. GilliganPierce When Satan found me this job, he placed me in the office THISCLOSE to the loo everyone shits in. Also, pretty certain they all have diarrhea 2:53 PM Feb 18th from mobile web
43. shelisrael I just prayed for the Lord to give me my Daily Bread. He told me to go down to La Boulangie & pay retail just like everyone else. 3:20 PM Feb 18th from web
44. Sznq When you’re stealing someone else’s thunder realise 1.You’re an uninspired copycat & 2. It’ll piss them off. 3.Zeus as an enemy sucks. 3:28 PM Feb 18th from TweetDeck
45. brandmilitia 2 years ago, to help become a better consultant, my cousin @tacanderson injected me with a street drug called “Twitter”. 3:33 PM Feb 18th from txt
46. John_Taylor What does it mean to come home to love, tenderness, compassion , understanding & great sex? – You’re in the wrong house! 3:47 PM Feb 18th from TweetDeck
47. steveswrong (opens reader) Well at least Google stop counting when there is over 1000 items to read. 1000+ looks better than 5 million unread (sinner) 7:50 PM Feb 18th from web
48. brendanmacneill If RBS lost £28Bn. who’s the lucky fellow that found it? 8:16 PM Feb 18th from Tweetie
49. Catavarie The worst part about what I’m doing right now is that not only can I not talk about it, but I don’t even know what it is 9:30 PM Feb 18th from txt
50. sjcurrie Right I have now officially turned into my mother “what the helll are they wearing???” 9:49 PM Feb 18th from twitterrific
51. weblivz@ewanspence ha – i just re-used someone’s avatar to support the copyright protest – not sure where the hell i stand now! 9:31 AM Feb 19th from web
52. debasispradhan Someone please tell those people who say “never in your wildest dreams” that they really underestimate the wildness of my dreams! 9:53 AM Feb 19th from web
53. afirmin @clarocada is an intelligent man,Digital biographer he must be a fan,4 you don’t become an author of note,Unless many insights u have wrote 10:00 AM Feb 19th from TweetDeck
54. jake Just brought some pirate water. For £1.20 it better at least have essence of pirate. 1:23 PM Feb 19th from twitterrific
55. swardley @ewanspence: Summarise quantitative easing? How about “An economic laxative. Avoid use when you’re already in the toilet.” 1:29 PM Feb 19th from web
56. jimwolffman Why Do Some Marketing Materials Use Capitals For Every Fucking Word? Do They Think We Are Stupid. 5:07 PM Feb 19th from twhirl
57. frontofficebox Yesterday we had an article on breakfast TV about life coaches – for Cats. Meanwhile the world’s economy is in the crapper WTF 7:44 PM Feb 19th from TweetDeck
58. lxcoza Avoid jet lag by simply taking an earlier flight, thus arriving fullyrefreshed and on time – Viz 9:27 PM Feb 20th from web
59. John_Taylor I’m not saying it’s cold this morning, but I saw a lawyer with his hands in his OWN pockets! :-0 9:14 AM Feb 23rd from TweetDeck
60. alisongow Someone just used the phrase ‘product roadmap’ in cold blood. Good grief… 9:44 AM Feb 23rd from TweetDeck
61. patrick “Schiphol airport is closed due to a problem with an inbound flight.” I’m in the plane an via Twitter I see there is a crash! 9:46 AM Feb 25th from twitterrific
62. dotSno Honest, interesting and informed report from traditional media on Twitter reporting of #Schiphol plane crash http://bit.ly/B1zHB4:23 PM Feb 25th from web
63. jdlasica@jeffjarvis You may want to bone up on some grand Shakespearean tragedies when discussing fate of newspapers .9:42 PM Feb 25th from web
64. jasontryfon Amsterdam Plane Crash: Further Proof Twitter & Social Media Have Overtaken Traditional Media Sources: http://bit.ly/9nOZN9:55 PM Feb 25th from TweetDeck
65. mariaschneider RT @rskloot WTF?! Amazon charging $ for each blog read on Kindle (incl my blog and many friends’). No $ to bloggers? Hello, copyright issue? 9:57 PM Feb 25th from web

66. davewiner I thought at first I’d have to pay to read my own blog, but it’s even worse. They don’t *have* my blog on it. That is soooo damned rude. 10:07 PM Feb 25th from web
67. GeoffLiving This post is 18 mos old on social media control. Still as prescient as the day I wrote it. http://tinyurl.com/c8afc310:18 PM Feb 25th from web
68. jonathanfields “I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.” – Mark Twain 10:49 PM Feb 25th from TweetDeck
69. angellr What does a Drunken Sailor and the Government have in common? The sailor eventually runs out of $$$ and can’t print more!!! 10:58 PM Feb 25th from TweetDeck
70. JasonCalacanis @gapingvoid glad to hear you’re off the sauce and cancer sticks… will bring cigars and scotch with me to SXSW! 7:41 AM Feb 26th from web
71. ewanmcintosh Just seen naked woman jump into Water of Leith screaming at her/a guy before running after him in badly fastened trench coat. 7:45 AM Feb 26th from mobile web
72. Scobleizer The public fight focuses on fact that Twitter has some deep problems that the rest of the world will hit soon (and is already hitting). 7:59 AM Feb 26th from web
73. alisongow There are 100+ phones in the newsroom yet the only one that rings is on the desk next to mine. I am Rosemary the sodding Telephone Operator 3:52 PM Feb 26th from TweetDeck
74. joeslaughter My 6 yo is worried about classmate-she is too perfect. Thinks she may be another lifeform in costume – Maybe stop the science fiction games. 4:41 PM Feb 26th from web
75. Aubs Thinking of swapping my Lenten sacrifice and instead giving up all the half-assed guys in my life. DEFINITELY a fair trade for caffeine. 9:38 PM Feb 26th from web
76. stewarttownsend #fridaynews off to get some quality virgin train food, oh the excitement is so much, I may implode on myself 2:38 PM Feb 27th from TweetDeck
77. EverywhereTrip Oh man this is going to suck. I’m stuck in no bandwidth-ville and am going to have to do major surgery on my website 9:01 PM Feb 27th from TweetDeck
78. novaspivack Twine will be available shortly. It is becoming sentient right now 3:41 PM Feb 28th from TweetDeck
79. Kevin_McIntosh_ Has a bank ever bailed you out of a jam? 3:45 PM Feb 28th from web
80. Avinio RT @tojulius: hey event people, twitter is not gonna change your business, you need to change it first then twitter will help a lot 4:16 PM Feb 28th from TweetDeck

If you think you said something funnier last month, then follow @clarocada, or add the tag #ttom to your best tweets in March.

Art or Science?

You might want to check out the slightly more scientific approach of Favrd, which shows the ‘most favorited’ tweets (if you register with them as a one-off) and is also pretty hilarious. They do warn that

“If you see Twitter as a venue for public relations or marketing, or as an audience eager to hear news of a post on your ‘blog’, or a rich hot sticky vertical, or if you consider yourself a web strategist, or if you talk earnestly about social media, or if you can read Techcrunch or listen to the Gillmor gang with a straight face…”

it’s very unlikely the things you say on Twitter will show up there. So, ideal for Next Web Readers, I feel.

What do you think Google have got cooking?